Hello,

It has been awhile since I have posted anything on here. So the big question probably is, What has been going on in my life to have not posted anything on here in a long long time.

I worked as an art teacher for 3 years through Covid. Then for the last 2 years I have been substitute teaching in different school districts. I have been busy and I am still not fully licensed yet.

I feel like I have lost my spirit, my creativity, and inspiration....and like my confidence took a crushing blow after some events that took place during these years. I am at a spot in my life where I face uncertainty. The big question I am plagued with and perhaps many of us are and spend a life tine trying to figure out. 

What do I want to do in my life? and How do I want to make an impact?

I feel like every choice I make and every experience I have will lead to growth and new opportunities. But something feels like its missing. I have ended a relationship I was in for 4 years recently. My reasoning to focus on myself.

I feel like its ok to be selfish sometimes. Everyone needs to learn how to treat themselves kindly. I think people call this "Self Love". 

I have never fully loved myself. But want to learn, understand, and appreciate myself for once. 

Since I haven't posted any art lately. Here is a picture I feel like represents me.

This artwork is yet to be finished but hangs in my apartment waiting to be finished. This painting was created when I felt down mentally. I put on some music and just let the brush work its magic. 

Handmade Watercolor Paint

 It's been awhile since I posted anything on here. This space is meant to be a place for a collection of my thoughts , ideas, prospects , expierences, and art. 

I have been through alot of growth since I last posted on here. But recently I made an update to my website. One of my many goals I'd like to make successful.  Selling my art and sharing it with others. Something to make people get lost in just like when my mind gets lost in the broad ocean.  

I have been experimenting with paint. Making my own paint. I still don't have it down yet. But have made 1 palette of paint so far. Hoping it dries so I can test it before it goes on my website. 

I find the process of experimenting with the process of creating something essential to allow growth and mastery of that thing you are pursuing. In my case exploring how to create my own watercolor paint.

Process of creation: If I'm creating a drawing, painting, sculpture, or jewelry.

Research>Listing Ideas💡> Creating thumbnails>Making Final Sketches> Begin Project >Midway- Step Back and see what needs fixed> Conclusion to finalized project. 

Throughout history everyone has always created their pigments and paint from things nature gifts us. 

In my case I have been looking at etsy, videos, and many articles online and expierimenting with the mixture to get the right consistency for paint. Still no mastery, but I think I can figure it out eventually. Until then look at my progress below.

Wave Series of Paintings

 The series of paintings I'm working on selling on my website Knidaria Kreations is titled the Wave Series inspired from The Great Wave and my love for the ocean. 

The two I've been working on are titled "Breeze" and "Storm".  Sometimes I struggle with depression and just like the waves move around in a storm I constantly change my mind on what I'm working on sometimes. So I decided if I'm going to do stuff I need to do stuff I love and focus more on my passion rather then what people want me to do or what they percieve artist to be. I am the person that best knows me and knows what is the right path for me. Which right now with the pandemic choosing a path becomes even harder given the circumstances.

So I'm kinda just trying a different method where I choose to just ride the wave until life chooses the obstacle's for me to choose in the best given moments. 

Traveling with Ghost

 

Traveling with Ghost is a memoir written by Shannon Leone Fowler. It was beautiful, sad, and reminded you of what the journey of life is all about. Every bump in the road I feel like is a test, a chance to allow growth, and opportunity to lead you to the next thing. 

Shannon and her husband on their honeymoon when one evening they take a swim. As they are swimming her husband is stung by a box jellyfish. One of the most venomous jellyfish in the world if I'm not mistaken. They are known to kill you instantly if they get you good. Her husband dies pretty fast. And shannon meets two women that help her through her first few days without them. 

The story goes on to tell of a journey Shannon goes on traveling the world. Shannon visits many places some with some haunting memories just as disturbing as the events she witnessed with her husband. Through this whole book she fights her emotions not really mourning properly like in the movie I watched Ride the Wave. But we can't really be taught to mourn someone we are really close to it just happens and we learn as we take each step and take each breathe. 

This story took me awhile to read a few years because the way I read i pick up a book, then start several others and get back to books I read chunks at a time. This book deserves a good read by someone else. Give it a try look it up. If your having trouble mourning someone her ghostly tale will help you. 

Ride The Wave

 

Ride the Wave is a movie about love and loss and riding the waves of life. 

Hinako is a surf-loving college student who has just moved to a small seaside town. When a fire breaks out at her appartment building she is rescued by Minato a handsome firefighter. For Hinako it was love at first sight. Before you know it the two start to date and begin to fall in love. But just as the love is beginning to blossom Minato loses his life at sea. Hinako unable to look at the ocean moves away and struggles to cope with Minatos death. But one day while out she discovers when she starts to sing their song Minato appears in water. From that moment on she can summon him on any watery surface even a inflated finless porpoise for example. Minato says that he will be by her side forever, but now in his watery form is that possible? 

You will have to watch the movie for yourself to find out💗

Dealing with loss is very hard. The more of a connection you have with that person the more of a struggle it is. But I have come to a realization life even after is never ending and the people we love they are always with us. For me its my great grandma, my grandma Blanche, and my grandpa. I think about them everyday but I know deep down they are with me. 

This movie was a beautiful treat for it's animation, for it being a watery movie, and magical tale that miracles do in fact exist. 

This movie teaches us to get back up, don't stop trying, believe and fight for your dreams. 

I'm struggling a bit to find myself on this journey called life, but when I feel like when I'm creating art I am more closer to myself then without.

Our 1st Adventure

I know it's been awhile since I've wrote in my blog, So here I am. First let me just say this whole pandemic has been hard. Depression and anxiety really has been messing with me more. I learned keeping busy and self love help to fight it and maintain it. This past weekend, I went on a little trip with my fiance. It was our first little trip. I hope their is many more. But I found some hidden treats when we visited book stores. This was one of the treasures. Now I have two sketchbooks to fill up before I get to this Art Nouveau inspired sketchbook with beautiful texture🤯🤤🐙
Now this is the first of many posts I will be updating here. In more posts I'll show artwork I've been working on, ideas, and thoughts running around in my head. So I'll stop for now and post more about our journey in posts to come and books I'm currently reading and finished as well.
A guy made a comment on a social media account this weekend. And it bothered me. So it kinda made me think we'll I got to dig deeper in my roots.
He had said my piece " Just Another Day at the Aquarium" looks like just a shark in a cage. Which I took quite an offense too. But he made me look into myself and made me want to dig deeper with my passions for the ocean.

Sketchbook Project Favorites